- 4 penguins in a long beige coat pretending to be a man so they can buy stamps
- Someone putting on your dad’s voice and pretending to be your dad on the phone
- Selling freddos under the pretense they are actual frogs
- Red “Pandas” (nice try, NATURE)
- Upside down pyramid schemes
- "Invisible cups"
- The economy
- Sofa salesmen who only sell you one cushion at a time
- DVDs with slices of ham instead of the discs in them
A gif I made, still relevant. NY I come back and I kick your smoky butt!
If this tree can do it, then maybe you can too.
HOW CAN WE BE HAPPY ?
Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar.
Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.
Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.
At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.
Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it.
Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.
The speaker began— exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.
Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness.
And this is the purpose of human life.
Protip: This is a really bad question to ask when visiting the National Mall. We have 8 buildings surrounding the Mall, and a total of 19 museums, 9 research centers and the National Zoo. A S.H.I.E.L.D agent should know better!
(We think she means the Smithsonian’s National Museum of Natural History in this case.)
SMITHSONIAN THROWING MAJOR SHADE!
I have had the most gloriously lazy Saturday involving coffee, cookies, yoga pants (no yoga), changing all my internet passwords, doing whatever the hell I wanted on the internet (which may have included a Netflix viewing of She’s All That mixed in there - because I needed to find out how well it held up), and getting ready to pour myself today’s first glass of wine. Basically, I’m 100% good vibes today, living in a little introvert dreamscape.
I also discovered that I had squirreled away a bunch of really delightful Tumblr things in my likes during the week that I seemed to have forgotten about much too quickly. I don’t do this very often, but I think I’ll go on a reblogging spree here shortly. I know I’m not a Tumblr innovator or tastemaker or anything, but I just feel like sharing. Sorry if you see it all and your dash gets inundated with stuff from someone you follow for some reason but mostly don’t care about. I typically try not to overwhelm anyone with a high-volume internet presence, so that’s why I’m putting out a little warning (which will appear at the end of my little stream of reblogs, I’m aware). Sometimes I just am very pleasantly surprised by my corner of Tumblr that I’ve carved out for myself - it (and those of you within it) really makes the internet very pleasant for me.
Anywho, I wish for everyone a similar sort of day like the one I’ve had today - hopefully you, too get to have one very soon (if this sort of thing suits you - if not, I hope you get to have your own version of a perfect, peaceful day).
I don’t use Instagram that much because it’s a) objectively the worst social network, and b) it makes everyone and everything they’re doing seem so dull (when I actually think most people are pretty interesting and do interesting things), and c) I like my social media to involve descriptive, written narratives of events and no one uses Instagram for that, but WHAT ON EARTH are those bars that appear on the sides of some people’s pictures on that godforsaken social platform? Like, I wouldn’t even know how to get those on my pictures if I WANTED to.
This is probably a get-off-my-lawn, old codger type of rant, but honestly. It’s like no one cares about the basic aesthetics of their integrated online personas these days.
Catching up on quite a few days of content from The Hairpin led me to this song and this horoscope
(I feel like I post horoscopes all the time and of course, you don’t care - why would you? But the well-written, non-self-serious ones can be such a pleasant, dreamy diversion. I recommend finding yours and reading it, too. Wherever you find the one that speaks to you, friend):
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19): Unfathomable creature, are you the righteous goat bleating against the boundaries set before you, or the fishtailed water dweller: sealing cracks as you discover them, mending the machine as it turns? Cardinal Capricorn, you might not know it yet but there is a great cosmic conspiracy in the works, and it’s got you quartered, tied to elements beyond your control: wild fires, large egos, emotions that well up from an endless fount. Capricorn, for years you have been living under the dark shadow of a planet you do not belong to. Everything in you craves change, knows how to build something out of what feels like nothing. Don’t despair, wonder-animal. If there is a fire to your left, then make the meal you’ve been craving. If there is an impossible project to your right, then master it. If before you stands a straight shot to whatever love is, then step forward, Capricorn, and claim it.
This combo of words and sounds has me ready to get out there and CLAIM some shit.